Why You Shouldn’t Stare Directly at The Sun

Hot spring sunlight is beginning to appear in Vancouver. As the Earth spins 15 degrees per hour into early April, panels of fierce daylight are beginning to strafe across buildings and intersections, illuminating odd angles and skewing city lines. Increasingly, our inlets and mountaintops are awash in hot sun.

Like many Vancouverites at this time of year, I often find myself pinned into place on Vancouver street corners in awe of this forgotten solar brilliance.

sunshine

In these brief moments of illumination, I often look around me and mentally inquire: “Are you marvelling at vast majesty of the gigantic perpetual explosion raging 149.6 million kilometres away? I sure am!”

No one seems to be as interested in the sun as I am. But, if you’re finding yourself sun-staring, awestruck by our system’s beautiful star, heed my advice: don’t look directly at the sun.

Why you shouldn’t stare directly at the sun: solar retinopathy

When you stare directly at the sun, you are literally burning holes in your retinas.

eyeball

When sunlight enters the eye, the cornea and aqueous solution in your eye absorb most wavelengths of light, protecting the rear-located retina from damage. However, UV-A and longer-wavelengths of visible light can traverse the eye and create photooxidative burns on the retina. This is called ‘solar retinopathy’.

The How

Within the retina, a specialized pigmented layer called the retinal pigmented epithelial (RPE) produces melanosomes that protect against harmful light radiation. Melanosomes absorb the energy from incoming photons BUT produce harmful oxidative oxygen species as a by-product. These species are similar to those produced when you metabolize alcohol, cigarette smoke, or pollutants, except they’re IN YOUR EYEBALL.

When you stare at the sun for longer than a second, these photo-oxidative chemicals begin to accumulate.  Stare at the sun long enough (i.e.: when people don’t take the necessary precautions when viewing an eclipse), and the chemical burn becomes more severe, literally burning holes in your retina.

Arrow pointing to obvious sun-spot (via http://retinavitreous.com/)

Arrow pointing to obvious sun-spot (via http://retinavitreous.com/)

Sun-spots and other retinal damage can persist from minutes to days to years, and serious damage can even be permanent. Solar retinopathy can even reduce overall visual accuity (overall sharpness of vision as tested by eye charts)

Be nice to your retinas

Retinas are actually out-budded from the central brain mass during development, which technically makes them part of the central nervous system. These tiny cups of outgrown brain have evolved to perceive and transmit radiative light, and they’re counting on you to not irreversibly damage them by being an idiot.

So, next time you’re outside and under the sun, try and remember to not burn holes in your eyballs.

Don’t forget: it’s always sunglasses season.

Auto-brewery syndrome

bottles
Many of us have woken up drunk as least once in their lives.

You leap nimbly from your bed, blissfully unaware of the chemical mallet poised above your woozy brain. “Wow, I actually feel pretty good right now!” you say, unaware that you are drunk.

For many,  this utterance is the beginning of the end. “I feel pretty good right now!” has a powerful suppressive effect on the human body. It invokes a cascade of increasingly depressing realizations concerning your general wellbeing in the coming hours. Consequent phrases often include “Oh boy I’m actually still drunk” and “Siri is it safe to IV-drip Gatorade into my aching crippled body” (no, but apparently you can use coconut juice)

Personally, I choose to wake up drunk only very rarely. Furthermore, I am profoundly grateful for the ability to choose where I drink and when I become hungover- a choice that is not afforded to those who suffer from ‘Auto-brewery syndrome’.

brewery

Auto-brewery syndrome is a real condition wherein large amounts of alcohol are continually produced within the digestive tract. The culprits are a set of yeasts, predominantly Saccharomyces cerevisiae (the same yeast that ferments grains and grapes in commercial alcohol production). For some as-yet-discovered reason, these fungi can proliferate to monopolize a larger portion of gut real-estate than normal. When people with Auto-brewery Syndrome ingest carbohydrates, these overabundant yeasts ferment the sugars and produce a large amount alcohol,  causing bouts of incredible drunkenness.

Despite being every neo-hipster’s wet-dream (“Brosef, I started my own NANObrewery“), this condition can be incredibly debilitating. Patients report constant random hangovers, chronic fatigue, irritability- the complete host of horrible symptoms that you encounter as you’re sobering up and entering the hangover phase.

Very little literature has been published on this syndrome, and only a handful of cases have ever been reported. Dahshan and Donovan reviewed two cases involving very young children who frequently became intoxicated after consuming carbohydrates (you think you get fighty when you drink whiskey? Try squaring up with a perma-drunk Japanese 3 year-old hopped up on Capri Sun).

Auto-brewing and driving

This bizarre condition was thrust into the public eye recently when a woman in upstate New York was stopped on suspicion of drunk-driving and found to have a blood alcohol level (BAC) of 0.36, FOUR TIMES the state limit, despite only having consumed 3 drinks. With an ample benefit of doubt not usually afforded drunk drivers, her lawyer contacted the author of one of the first papers on auto-brewery syndrome and went on to successfully defend the driver in court.

Luckily, auto-brewery syndrome is cured very simply with a low-carb diet and a round of anti-fungal medication. Once a regulated balance of gut flora is reestablished, virtually no ethanol is produced and the patient can return to getting debilitatingly drunk only when she or he chooses to.

This made me want to drink a beer. Cheers!

He cracked his knuckles; you won’t BELIEVE what happens next (hint: not arthritis)

Knuckle-cracking

knuckles

Knuckle-cracking is a divisive ritual: some people do, some people cringe and don’t.

I do- I began this satisfying staccato ritual in highschool, alongside other teen-angst palliatives like biting the inside of my cheek and making iron-on Smashing Pumpkin t-shirts.

My brother Owen is one of the many who hates knuckle-cracking. I fondly remember irritating the bejesus out of him in the car by crushing my balled fists against the headrest next to his ears, delighting in both the cathartic joint-popping and his vexed complaints that it sounded like ‘disgusting skeletons’.

However, every time I cracked my knuckles, a small pop would sound near the back of MY head: “this may seem worth it to aggravate your brother now, but what about arthritis?”

Boning up

The ‘pop’ sound of knuckles cracking is caused by small bubbles bursting in the synovial fluid that lubricates your joints. Synovial fluid fills the cavity between your bones, underneath layers of tendons and ligaments. The protective aqueous solution cushions the innermost joint, and allows it to move without friction:

Synovial fluid is interesting stuff- it’s about the same consistency of egg-white, and it’s secreted by the tissues and cartilage around your joints. It’s one of the few rare fluids that becomes more viscous under pressure, allowing it to cushion the joint from both friction and shock. After the stress of movement relieves, the fluid instantly becomes thinner and less viscous, allowing it to move freely around the joint.

To crack, or not

The man who first set out to prove that knuckle-cracking is harmless is named Dr. Donald Unger. Unger meticulously cracked the fingers on his left hand, but not his right, for over 60 years, likely as a rebuke of his mother’s no-crack policy. After 6 decades of daily popping, he reported that knuckle-cracking had not induced arthritis in his left hand.

Generally, the scientific community frowns on experiments of sample size 1, and it’s worth noting that this bizarre life-long undertaking is not rooted firmly in scientific principle. Perhaps Unger’s genetic disposition protects him from developing arthritis generally; perhaps he was cracking his knuckles too frequently, or too infrequently, to precipitate the condition; perhaps if he’d kept up another year, arthritis would have smote him down with a harrowing bony fist.

Though Unger’s experiment doesn’t meet the criteria of rigorous scientific experimentation, it does begin to counteract the years of falsely accusing knuckle-cracking of causing arthritis. In fact, numerous other studies have produced similar results repudiating the connection between cracking and arthritis.

HOWEVER, chronic crackers shouldn’t rejoice just yet: cracking induces mild swelling in the hands and finger joints, and likely causes reduced grip strength.

Fin

There is no evidence, scientific or otherwise, that associates knuckle-cracking with arthritis. Crack on, you crazy diamonds- just don’t complain when life gives you lemons and your hands are too swollen and feeble to make lemonade.